Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Bug Phobia!

I know that (most) bugs are harmless. They are tiny creatures that live in the folds of the grass or in a hole in the ground. And humans are beyond giants to them. We take their lives everyday without realizing it just by taking a step. This being said... I should have no problem being n
ear them. But this is not the case.

As a side job I work at a popular coffee house that will be left unnamed. This coffee house makes frappuccinos and smoothies. Naturally, the sticky sugar invites the local fly colony to hang out there. This is disgusting. I would never be a customer of a place that had so many flies that when you moved your arm to reach for something you knocked them out of their flight path.

On this particular night I was very happy to be at the end of my shift and heading to my car. I got ten feet away from it and there were tons of little, baby grasshoppers flying up into the air and back down to the ground. My first thought was "disgusting..." I thought- unlock the door and get in quickly so they don't hitch a ride. I managed to do this and was on my way.

Since gas prices were on the rise, I stopped to fill up. I got out my credit card and popped open my gas tank. I was about to open my door- when there it was.... the mother grasshopper was perched upon my driver's side mirror! I told myself that there was no reason I should not get out and get gas... after all, it was only a grasshopper. I was about to get out of the car when all of a sudden something black and tiny flung itself at that same side mirror... it appeared to be one of the escaped parking lot, baby grasshoppers. It was a sign! I turned my car back on and headed home.

I was speeding the whole way there... watching the sly, master grasshopper on my mirror holding on with one leg for dear life. She had successfully made it to my home. I turned the car off and proceeded to climb over the gears to the passenger seat. I got out of the car quickly, checked for grasshoppers, closed my (still) open gas tank, and escaped the "dangerous" situation.

I went upstairs and told my significant other this story... but at that point I felt guilty for stealing the mama grasshopper. Now all the babies will be alone. I considered driving back to the coffee house to drop her off... but then I realized I would have to maneuver myself back into the drivers seat. And what would happen if I got there and she wouldn't get off? I sit there all night until she wants to take a walk? No, she probably wanted to escape. One hundred babies would drive any mother crazy. She took the high road... leave them with their father.

1 comment:

Doobie Star said...

I must meet this wise Mother Grasshopper! Great story! You made my day :)